When was the last time you peed on yourself?

Good thing I invested in a diaper brand!

I want to let you in on a couple of projects that have been super personal to me, both professionally and philanthropically. You know I love to be involved, and when I commit, I commit.

So, I’ve been investing in a brand I genuinely love, sitting on the board of a nonprofit that’s changing lives for real, and learning firsthand that being a good advocate means working hard, staying flexible, and occasionally, wearing the wrong dress and peeing in your Spanx. 😳

I’ll get into that a bit later…

This is one of my favorite stories, because it’s a prime example of how I operate. I am a very type B mom, which means I did absolutely zero research on diapers before my first son, Isaac, was born. After getting a ton of them at my baby shower, I quickly realized he was leaking through everything. I finally did some investigating, found Coterie, and was instantly blown away by the quality.

I got so obsessed with the brand that I did what I do best: I called my manager and told her, “Please find the founder of this business so we can work with them!” I needed more people to know about their incredible products. And I wasn’t interested in just doing a commercial or whatever; I wanted to invest. Over time, it turned into something much bigger for me: I became an investor, and have gotten to do some beautiful campaigns with them, including content featuring my twins. And one of my nearest and dearest friends, Karlie Kloss, got involved too, which I’m very grateful for.

Cut to a handful of years later, and Coterie’s been acquired! It’s such a monumental achievement; their products are truly high-end, classy, and worth every penny. They call their pull-up diapers “pants,” and we still use them at nighttime for my five-year-old and three-year-olds who aren’t quite potty trained overnight. (I’ll get to it when I need to—type B mom! 😭)

But the wipes…I swear, I’ll use the wipes until the day I die. They’re clean and fresh, with minimal ingredients, unlike other brands that are full of crud and break when you wipe poop up. Coterie is everything you want, with a cherry on top. They have also become my go-to gift for new parents. If you’re having a baby, I’m giving you a box full of Coterie!

Candidly, I’ve been asked to sit on boards before, but it took me a while (I’m talking 20 years!) to find the right fit. I wanted to partner with an organization that really put their money where their mouth is and made sense for my family, and—ding ding ding!—Room to Grow is it. They’re celebrating 26 years of helping disproportionately affected families and it’s been incredibly interesting and eye-opening to be a board member. I’ve learned so much about how to raise money for a nonprofit and how a nonprofit is run in general.

I was on the gala committee for our recent fundraiser, and it was a whole other thing. My job was to help secure live and silent auction items, music, an honoree, and of course, make sure families supported by Room to Grow were represented. We successfully raised over one million dollars, far surpassing our goal.

The night was full of uplifting moments and special guests, including my good pal Jay Ellis (from Insecure and Top Gun) and my best friend Anthony Evans. Uma Thurman was there too, and oh my goodness, SO statuesque!! At one point we were backstage and Uma and I went barefoot back to back, trying to figure out who was taller (it was Uma).

We honored the legendary Zac Posen (such a sweetheart), and had two performers, Justin Jesso and Parson James, whom I met in Italy over the summer. They were so high-energy and even gave me unexpected shout-outs during their performance, which got the black-tie crowd up and dancing—something you don’t see often. The laughs were loud; the Lambrusco was flowing. It was so, so fun.

Sounds like a perfect evening, right? What if I told you I got fed the wrong script in the teleprompter and mispronounced all the donors’ names? Thank God I’m the queen of improvisation. Unfortunately, I am not the queen of reading names and having to sound them out. I’m also dyslexic, so when I see unfamiliar words, I freeze. I was forced to wing it and it was oh-so-embarrassing—all I could do was start spitting out jokes to the audience: “Hope you’re all enjoying the show, ‘cause I’m dyslexic here we go!!”

Luckily the auction went much smoother. Towards the end, I jumped on stage to sell off a private performance from Justin and Parson, which they suggested because they’re awesome humans (side note: should I be an auctioneer? I think I’m surprisingly good at it).

Things wrapped up on a high note when Uma came over to me at the end of the gala and said, “I’m so glad you joined the board.” That really made my night. I still can’t believe we raised more than we expected. It warmed my heart and is such a win for all the families touched by Room to Grow. I had a ball (teleprompter notwithstanding) and can’t wait to do it again next year.

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If you think you’re too dressed up, you’re probably right. Especially if you’re at the New York City Public Library.

Last month, I went to the NYPL’s President’s Council dinner to celebrate New York Times columnist Andrew Ross Sorkin’s new book (check out his interview with Derek Blasberg!). I swore the event was black-tie formal, but in fact, the dress code ended up being cocktail attire. I showed up in a long black custom Nina Ricci gown while all the other girlies were in sundresses. A faux pas, sure, but the least of my worries! I didn’t get to the bathroom on time and peed all over my Spanx. Friends…it was a nightmare. My shoes were squeaking down the hall, my boob tape was rolling down, and I got so nervous that I started making sex jokes with strangers. Let’s just say the guest list skewed a bit older, so I don’t think my comedic stylings were very appreciated.

An unforgettable night, but not at all in the way I planned. Maybe I’m the one who needs a Coterie diaper?!

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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I love being able to (over)share these parts of my life with you. Peeing myself aside, I’ve been thinking a lot about how important it is for me to show up authentically; for the people I love, the community that nourishes me, and the causes I care about. And to be clear, this doesn’t necessarily have to mean sitting on a board or investing in a business—showing up can be as simple as sending a heartfelt text to a friend or running an errand for your stressed-out neighbor.

Question for you: What’s a cause that you’re passionate about, and why? Let me know in the comments. The more opportunities we have to give back right now, the better.

And to my fellow type B parents, I want to hear from you, too! What do you think is the biggest misconception about being a bit less rigid with your kids?

Last thing: please consider donating to Room to Grow. It’s an amazing organization, and even a few dollars can make a huge difference in the lives of parents and caregivers in need.

Sending love and a strong bladder,
xo Ashley

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A bible verse I love
“Oh, satisfy us early with Your mercy, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days! Make us glad according to the days in which You have afflicted us, The years in which we have seen evil. Let Your work appear to Your servants, And Your glory to their children. And let the beauty of the LORD our God be upon us, And establish the work of our hands for us; Yes, establish the work of our hands.” — Psalms 90:14-17 NKJV

A pastor I’ve been listening to has been talking a lot about how we have the power to call on things that are not there, and I’m training my mind to do that.

A DJ I’ve been listening to on repeat
Portia Monique. I’ve turned into a house girl!

An addition to my wellness routine
Creatine! I’ve been loving the lemon drop flavored gummies from Legion. I’ve burnt out on the powders and shakes (they make me bloated). But five of these gummies before or after a workout has been enhancing my routine and helping my muscles get more defined.

My new favorite perfume
Vénus by Nina Ricci Intense. This is the one that I did the campaign for, and I would not put it in this newsletter if I didn’t actually think it smelled good. It’s like a heavy vanilla—and when I say heavy vanilla, I don’t mean a lot of vanilla. It’s an evening vanilla. It also comes in different sizes, which I love because I need a little bottle to travel with and a big one to leave at home.

A question for you
If you had a month of total freedom what are three things you would do?